Car Seat Drama

So I have decided to tell on myself in this post. I am not proud at all of my mothering abilities today but I figure with all the good I report, I must also post the occasional mishap on this parenting journey. So when Ramsey was born I had gotten one of those car seat travel systems which has been a really good thing thus far. I never fully read the instruction manual (I never do). I realized today that when you become a mother you don't have the luxury to just blow some things off. My mom and I were going to take Ramsey to pick strawberries in Calhoun and we were just headed out of the neighborhood when a dog ran in front of the car and my mom swerved to avoid hitting the obviously oblivious creature. As she did Ramsey's car seat tilted sideways. I said "oh, jeez" (not really but cursing on a blog doesn't seem quite appropriate). So we stopped to inspect the mishap only to realize it was not a quick fix. Over the past 4 months the car seat had been a little less than perfect but each time we would get all our stuff plus Ramsey to the car I did not think of it. Well, I suppose God sent me a definite sign today so I decided I could not in good consciousness not figure it out and fix it once and for all. As a mother I have to figure it out. There is no other choice when someone so small is depending on me to keep him safe. So I called the health department because they do car seat installation and inspection. The lady was really nice and hopefully it is ALL GOOD now. I beat myself up about it, that I had not done something before now. Thankfully he is safe and I will absolutely do better for him in the future. So I might have failed today but thankfully there is always tomorrow to strive to do better. Needless to say we did not make it strawberry picking but hopefully soon and this time with a safe little boy and more conscientious mother.



I also have to give shout out to my friend from college and fellow blogger, Lindsey(Paramore) Oliver. She and her husband Jace welcomed their first son in to world yesterday. They named him Luke and he is perfect!

Things that make you go hum???

So you know how in earlier post I had mentioned that I have started making bibs, burp cloths, and pacifier clips for my friends store? Well, I finished the pacifier clips yesterday and thought I should probably have Ramsey test them out during the day to see their durability before I go selling the to the masses. Ramsey does not use a pacifier and I hated that I made something he could not use. So when I decided to test it out on him I thought hum, what could I attach to it for his testing purposes? My mom, being the wise one she is, said "why don't you use a few of his ring toys on it?" Now, why did I not think of that? Just last week we were out to dinner and after a little while he got fussy so I set him on my lap while I finished my meal. He kept wanting to put his hands in my food so I grabbed his little rings to set on the edge of the table to play with. He kept dropping them, I would clean them off, give them back and then this cycle would continue the remainder of our dinner. Needless to say after about 10 times it became a little annoying. So now I have a better solution and that I can clip his little toys on his shirt or whatever else when we are out so he can't drop them into the bacterial mine field and won't loose them if I'm not paying attention. So needless to say I am pleased that my one dimensional pacifier clip has now proven to have duel purposes. I love when things like that happen! My friend loved them for her shop and now Ramsey has a few of his own in his diaper bag for such needed occasions.

Yes! Flowers!

So I got a special delivery today from this really hot guy, who just happens to be my husband. I love getting flowers especially when it is out of the blue. Ramsey and I are counting the days until R and R and it is now just under 2 months away! I can hardly wait to finally be a little family in the same place. I can't even imagine how great it will be, wait... yes I can totally imagine it! Cope really is the best guy and I am so happy we found each other. Even when this deployment is long I can get through it knowing we're in this together, no matter what. Oh, and flowers always help too.

Gotta love Dr.Suess

Ramsey got to attend his first play today at a local high school that has a really good preforming arts program. It was Suessical the Musical and actually My mom and Morgan were taking my niece so we decided to tag along. Ramsey did great but we only stayed about 30 minutes and then went to run some other errands before the day was out. He loves TV, I only really let him watch American Idol but anytime a TV is on he is fixated on it. So the play today was just like watching a huge TV because he was mesmerized at least for a little while. Yesterday was fun too in that we went fishing and rode in the peddle boat at my mom's lake. He enjoyed a little picnic and splashing his toes in the stream. Once he got his diaper soaked we had to come on home and take a nap. Big play should make for a big nap but oh no, he slept for 30 minutes and was ready to go again. All in all it was a fun, relaxing weekend and I hope the week to come proves to be much of the same but one can never tell with a little boy who is constantly changing.

Who Knew?

Who knew Webkinz were all the rage? Certainly not me until this past week. My friend's store that I have been selling my products to also sells Webkinz. They are similar to the popularity of Beanie Babies. A Webkinz is a stuffed animal that comes with a little tag that has an code for a virtual world where you can put in the code from your animal and play that character online. Again, who knew? Friday my friend's store was having a Webkinz Extravaganza. So my mom and I went by to spectate on this strange phenomenon and also see how my products were displayed in the store. Well, it was very busy and there were all these games and things for the kids. I got Ramsey a press on tattoo and my mom even fell for the propaganda and bought Ramsey his first Webkinz. He picked out a cute yellow lab with my help of course (they were out of the bulldog ones). Then we came on home because he was a very tired little boy. Oh, and just to update, Ramsey has found his groove again in the all night sleep department, but seems to be in the cycle now of eating a ton and not napping much. Hey, what can you do? His hair has finally started to grow so his bald spot from sleeping in the back has finally filled in nicely. I'm still waiting to see if it will end up curly or strait??? He is also loving his new "Born Free" bottles. Yeah!

This is hard stuff

Well, in case you are not aware and are interested, there has been lots of stuff on the news, in the paper, and in many articles this past week about harmful plastics. There is a concern that baby bottles have a harmful type of plastic (Bisphenol-A or BPA) in them that could be potentially dangerous to children. At first I thought it was no big deal, and it certainly might not be. It seems like there are new studies ALL the time and it is hard to make heads or tails of it usually. I mean are vaccines safe? Should I be worried about lead in his toys? It is enough to make you crazy if you let it. How do you know what is the right thing to do? As a parent I have decided all I can do it to educate myself the best I can and then make the best decision from there. I can't be worried all the time because that will make me a miserable person and and a way too cautious mother. Ramsey has been using the Avent bottles which I have really liked thus far. They have been banned in Canada recently due to the the harmful plastic in them. Can I consciously continue to use something that has been banned in a neighboring country? So I checked into this new bottle company today called "Born Free" and they seem to have it together and offer glass and plastic bottles that don't contain the BPA plastic. So I have gotten a few to try on him to make sure he'll do okay with the switch before I go investing in a whole new supply of them. I am glad there is continuous research on baby stuff and I'll just try to make the most informed decisions I can. As a parent it is really hard but it is my job to try to make Ramsey's little world as safe as possible without going crazy in the process. I am also very grateful to Cope for working so hard so that we have the funds to do the best we can for our son. We have very different roles this year but we are dedicated to the same amazing cause...Ramsey.

I'm in business

So, I finally finished making the bibs and burp cloths for my friend's store. It was a lot of work but she liked them very much. Thankfully my mom helped me a ton so it wasn't too bad. I realized good bibs take much more time than I originally thought it would. So if they sell good in her store that is great but I am just happy to know how to make them. Now I can make Ramsey a whole collection and make great gifts for others. I love making things but i am not sure if this is my lives calling or not :)

Oops

So I figured out why the little safety belts in baby equipment is there for. Saturday morning when I was getting us ready to go out of town I put Ramsey in his bouncy seat while I loaded the car. I then grabbed a quick bowl of cereal and sat down next to him. I took a double take when I noticed he was seconds from coming all the way out of his seat. He did not seem to mind and thought the new angle was quite exciting. I'll pay more attention next time but it was sort of funny and I am glad he doesn't think me totally incompetent.

I think he's got it!

I think Ramsey has mastered rolling over finally. He actually rolled over very early at 5 weeks old and then again at 8 weeks. Since then he has not seemed very interested in doing it much. Well, actually when I would place him on his tummy he would bury his face in the floor and cry. Pretty pitiful. Anyway, I have been encouraging tummy time since he mainly likes to be in the standing position these days. He would raise his head way up but just not want to go over. So last night my mom and I sat in the floor with him and helped him do it a time or two and we would clap and make a big deal over him, which he loves. After that he just started rolling and rolled lots today too. I knew he had it in him but he was just going to do it when he was good and ready. So I am very proud of him. While I worked in the "sweat shop" today my mom took Ramsey outside and she said he sat up for about 30 seconds on his own and even rolled from back to front on his own. I swear next time she'll tell me he is walking. He also helped plant flowers and got his first thrill of dirt on his feet. He's so much fun and I just love that I've been given the opportunity to be his mommy. Oh, and in case you can't tell that is a french bulldog on his shirt. He likes to represent.

Half Way!

We are finally at the half way point of this deployment as of yesterday. I am thrilled to be over the hump so we can get going on the remainder of the time. We have 2 months until R & R and once that happens Cope will only have about 5 months left in Iraq. He sent me this picture yesterday which I thought was really neat. He was attending an Iraqi police officers funeral where he saw these two cute little girls. They were very interested in his digital camera so he showed them a picture of our dogs, Sage and Bentley, on our sofa in our home. The girls had never seen dogs inside a house much less chillin on a cozy sofa. To them dogs are the same type of animal as say a cow or something. There is no vet care for dogs either so lots have mange, fleas, etc. I just thought this was a neat picture and I am so proud of Cope and the role he plays over there.

All the STUFF

No, we are not going away for 2 weeks. This is just what it takes Ramsey and I to travel somewhere overnight these days. I used to just take a small bag and be able to pack in about 5 minutes for such a short trip. Well, times have changed and now it requires a lot more. It is amazing to me that such a tiny person requires so much stuff. The reality is that we could get by with very little but the STUFF sure does make it easier once we are at our destination. Even though it takes a lots of stuff and energy to travel, it is good to venture out from time to time.

SUPER MOM

So I am one of those people who tends to take on way to much. I feel this super human type of power that can get the bottles sterilized, Ramsey on schedule, laundry caught up, find the time to tackle a business venture, and be a super mommy all by lunch time. I can keep the craziness going about 72 hours before a small detail interrupts the juggling act and I have a very human meltdown. All it takes is the slightest thing to throw me off and the tears start flowing. Once it starts all the things that are hard in my life flood me like missing Cope, struggling to be a good mom, feeling a bit overwhelmed with my business, and I just let it all go. I realize I am simply built for downtime. I need personal time to be the best version of myself. I need quite time with my son to take it all in. Some people are simply made differently but I realize who I am, so I am not too surprised when reality takes me over and I am once again "real". After my meltdown I had a moment with Ramsey when he looked up at me as if to say "it's okay. You were my Mommy today and you always do the best you can. At the end of the day that is simply all that matters". Man, it is great to feel like a super mom but it is good to take off the cape from time to time and just be me.

Books-A-Million

Don't you just love it when you come across something totally unexpected like a great food, good conversation, or a HUGE BOOK SALE? Well, today there was this annual book sale at a book distributor in our town. I had never been before and was thinking I might find a book or two for Ramsey. After his nap we headed there and I thought it might take us 10 minutes or so because I did not even bring a spare diaper, wipes, or toys. Two hours and 100 books later I wished I had. It was wonderful and the place was like twice the size of Costco with literally millions of books, all new and most were hard back. At Easter I realized how much kids books cost so when they had most all of them today for $1.00 each it was like Supermarket Sweep! The place is actually going out of business so I had to get while the getting was good. My mom was holding Ramsey because he got a little fussy (can you imagine that he would get fussy after 2 hours of looking at books ? :) I used the extra stroller space for books and just threw them in, one after another. In the end I ended up with a few years worth of books for Ramsey and gifts for others. It was a great unexpected find in the middle of an ordinary day. Hum, I wonder what I'll be giving for Christmas this year?

Fun in the Sun

So yesterday was Ramsey's first day playing in the green grass of spring. He seemed to like it very much and kicked in it and would lean way over to touch it. My mom even let him pick his first Dogwood blossom. Can you imagine never having felt grass before? That is one of the neatest things about having a child is that you can experience the newness of everything through their eyes. He however is not a fan of the very bright sun so he had to come in and get a hat. He sat up a for a few seconds on his own but then would slowly fall over. I think he'll get the hang of it soon. He loves to watch the dogs so we played a little frisbee with them while we were out. I am so glad the weather is getting nice and I think he tends to sleep a bit better after having been outdoors. Or at least I hope so.

Whoo Hooo

So today was super busy for my mom and I. We have been working on the new product lines and so far SO GOOD! My mom is really incredible when it comes to designing our embroidery stuff and she even had time to design me a new logo. I mean who has a photshop expert, design diva, and a creative genious as a mother...thankfully ME! We have such a good time doing this stuff and I never do it for the money just the thrill of being creative and spending time with my mom. Ramsey even got in on the action in his exersaucer. He was really fond of the embroidery machine and how fast it stitches. Cope refers to our little office as the "sweat shop". It is pretty busy and and the quarters are tight with two adults, an occasional little boy, and 3 bulldogs. So we have had a busy day but a satisfying one too. I'm off to eat Mexican and get home in time for American Idol. I just love Tuesdays! The only thing that could make it better would be a little more time in the day and a LOT MORE COPE.

Above are two of our bags that we designed for my friend's store.

I'm kind of a BIG DEAL!

No not really, but I just think the expression is funny. Anyway, super exciting day for me. A friend from high school owns a local gift shop and she had contacted me a last week because she wanted to buy some doggie collars from me (in case you don't know I have a very small dog collar and tote bag business). Anyway, she bought quite a lot of leash and collar sets that day and then contacted me a few days later wanting to see if she could buy some key fobs to actually sell in her store. She has said that they are selling great and she might be interested in me making some other things for her shop. So I came up with several ideas and we met today to go over it. SHE LOVED IT ALL! I am so glad and I think as human beings we all just want to feel appreciated for whatever our skill might be. So she has placed an order for 10 belts, 15 tote bags, 15 bibs, 5 burp cloths, and even some pacifier holders. So I am very excited to have my own small project going. Ramsey is and will ALWAYS be my #1 priority but I am glad to have a little something of my own, especially in a creative outlet such as this. I'll keep you posted on the progress and my agent will let you know when I GO BIG! (ha ha) Above are just a few of the things I've created for her store:

Things you should never say to a military wife

I didn't write this, but I do think it's pretty darn funny!

1. "Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?"(This one ranks in at number one on the "duh" list. Of course we're afraid. We're terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds ---but thanks brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they're scared of dying.)

2. "I don't know how you manage. I don't think I could do it."(This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying. Here's why: it's not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we'd get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We're not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.)

3. "At least he's not in Iraq .."(This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Afghanistan . What do they think is happening in Afghanistan ? An international game of golf? Guys are fighting and dying over there.)

4. "Do you think he'll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?"(Don't you watch the news? No! They don't get to come home for any of these things. Please don't ask again.)

5. "What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he's gone?"(Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there's a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves, but I have yet to meet her. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don't get bored, and drinking massive amounts of wine always helps keep me busy.)

6. "How much longer does he have until he can get out?"(This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren't counting down the days until they "can" get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and AGAIN to go back to Iraq (or wherever) b/c there is work that needs to be done.)

7. "This deployment shouldn't be so bad, now that you're used to it."(Sure, we do learn coping skills and its true the more deployments you've gone through, the easier dealing with it becomes. And we figure out ways to make life go smoother while the guys are gone. But it never gets "easy" and the bullets and bombs don't sk ip over our guys just because they've been there before. The worry never goes away.)

8. "My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you're going through."(This one is similar to number two. Do not equat e your husband's three week trip to London/Omaha/Tokyo/etc. with a 12-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, he flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it. Comparing a 12 month combat deployment to a few weeks business trip is like comparing a crappy ford taurus with mercedes convertible.)

9. "Wow you must miss him? "(This one also gets another big "duh". Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they're now divorced.)

10. "Where is he exactly? Where is that?"(I don't expect non-military folks to be able to find Anbar Province on a m ap, but they should know by now that it's in Iraq . Likewise, know that Kabul and Kandahar are in Afghanistan . Know that Muqtada al Sadr is the insurgent leader of the Mahdi Army in Iraq and that Sadr City is his home area. Know that Iran is a major threat to our country and that it is located between Afghanistan and Iraq . Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for seven years and at war in Iraq for five years. These basic facts are not secrets, they're on the news every night and in the papers every day ---and on maps everywhere.)

11. "Well, he signed up for it, so it's his own fault whatever happens over there.(Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments lik e that. He didn't sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that "You're welcome." He's still fighting for your freedom.)

12. "Don't you miss sex! I couldn't do it!"(hmmm, no i don't miss sex. i'm a robot. Seriously...military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night. And the hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn't withstand 12 months of sex deprivation.)

13. "Well in my opinion....."(Stop right there. Yo, I didn't ask for you your personal political opinions. Hey, I love a heated political debate, but not in the grocery store, not in Jamba Juice, not at Nordstrom, not in a bar when I'm out with my girls trying to forget the war, and CERTAINLY NOT AT WORK. We tell co-workers abo ut deployments so when we have to spend lunch hours running our asses off doing errands and taking care of the house, dog, and kids, they have an understanding. We do not tell co-workers and colleagues because we are giving an invitation to ramble about politic s or because we so eagerly want to hear how much they hate the President, esp. while we're trying to heat up our lean cuisines in the crappy office microwaves.)

last but not least....
14. "OH, that's horrible...I'm so sorry!"(He's doing his job and he's a badass. Don't be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our soldiers fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)If you want to say anything, say thank you.

What a BUMMER

So sort of a craptastic day for Cope and his guys. There has been much talk lately that deployments might just be 12 months long instead of 15. Well according to the info that we got today is that it will only apply to those that will be deployed and not those already there. Jeez, can they get anything else to lower their moral over there. I simply can't imagine what it is like for them. To see the same people day in and day out and never see your loved ones. To wear the same uniforms everyday and eat the same chow hall food for every meal. They are working so hard and on edge most all the time. I'm know they signed up for this but not one of those guys ever anticipated deployment would be 15 months. They did not know they would miss a whole 15 months worth of birthdays and holidays. I hate it for them so much and for all the loved ones missing them more than they ever let on. So many people forget that as they sit in the comforts of their homes they are only doing so because of the very brave and selfless men and women who put it on the line each day to try to make our world safer. I could not be more proud of my husband and even though he does not say it I know he is tired, I know his heart hurts, and I know he wants to be HOME. So please keep them in your thoughts as it is a tough day to not get the boost they so desperately need and deserve.

Ummm, Solid Food

So yesterday was Ramsey's first attempt at solid food. Actually it was just rice cereal which closely resembles thinned mush. My mom and I were so excited to try it out on him that we were like little kids at Christmas. It was fairly uneventful and he did okay at it for a first try. After about 15 minutes I think he probably consumed about 1 tsp worth of it. Most of it ended up on his face or bib but we had fun anyway. I think I'll give him a try each day and slowly increase it as he gets used to it more. In a month or so he can start on veggies. I'm sure in few weeks time he will be opening his mouth like a baby bird anticipating the little bites of deliciousness.

What happened???

So earlier in this blog I had mention that my wonderful child had been sleeping 9-10 strait for several weeks. Well not so much anymore. For the past few nights he has been waking up around 4AM and talking/whining so much that I simply can't sleep through it. He usually can just get himself right back to sleep but that is not the case lately. So I let him do that until I can't take it anymore or until he finally starts to cry. I rock him and if he still won't fall asleep I give in an get him a bottle. Maybe he is hungry because after eating he does go back to sleep for about 3 hours. That is the hardest part of parenting for me in that I have to figure it out. It is a fine line between giving him what he needs and what might be creating a bad habit instead. So right now I think I will just assume he is going through a growth spurt and needs a bit more in his tummy to sleep good. I hope he will get back to all night sleeping again, because I sure could use it myself.

I miss my husband

So Ramsey just turned 4 months old a few days ago and in many ways it seems like time is flying by, except it feels like FOREVER since I have laid eyes on Cope. It is 7 and a 1/2 months to be exact. I miss him SO much that whenever someone realizes that he has never seen his son and they say "oh Tara" the scope of it finally hits me and I am no longer brave but reduced to a lonely wife who is doing her best to keep it together. I want him here so bad for many selfish reasons of my own, but mostly so he can simply know how wonderful Ramsey is. I want Cope to see him smile and be changed forever. I want Cope to see that Ramsey is everything that is good in life and that he is the best of both of us. This is a very strange year to say the least. It is more than I could have hoped for having Ramsey but so much harder than I imagined missing Cope. I know our time will come and we will look back on this and be made better for the long journey but today I just miss my husband and am wishing him safely HOME.

Update on Mr. Ramsey

So Ramsey is now 4 months old. I sort of wish I had started this blogging thing earlier because I would have told it ALL. All the truths that is, but as the weeks have gone by I have sort of begun to forget how hard it was is those first few weeks. It is pretty insane but so worth it. Ramsey is doing really well and has been sleeping through the night(9-10 hours) for a month or so now. I am so thankful that he is such a good baby. I mean I don't have another to compare him to, but I somehow think we got a pretty good deal. He plays well and his favorite toys are the exersaucer and bouncing gym. He loves to stand up and we even got him to hold on to the coffee table for a few seconds on his own. At his appt. today he weighed 14.5 lbs, and was 26 inches long. He just got 2 shots and will get the other two next month. I asked the doc to split them up just because he was miserable and feverish for several days last time he got vaccines. So the past 4 months have flown by and I can't believe he is getting so big. I love him more everyday and am counting the days till Cope can join in this experience with me.

Becoming a Mother

So let me begin by being totally honest...It is HARD WORK! It is definitely the steepest learning curve I've ever experienced. I remember them wheeling us into the recovery room soon after delivery and the nurse said "OK, he needs to be fed every 2 hours and changed about that often" I thought "feed him what?" I had no idea how to breastfeed, burp a baby, or even change such a tiny persons diaper. I did not know what I was doing and I needed HELP! I mean I just pushed a this kid out and I still had more work to do? Needless to say I did figure it out. I learned how to breastfeed, how to change a diaper while caring for a circumcision, and also that you can't die from lack of sleep (I think I got 3 hours in the 72 I was in the hospital). Once Ramsey was born I was literally confused as to how people had more than one child. I certainly understood the first time he smiled at me. Ramsey is the best gift I've ever been given and I am so grateful at the end of each exhausting day. When I lay my head on my pillow I thank God for thinking enough of Cope and I to give us such a wonderful child. I hate that Cope's journey to fatherhood is delayed a bit but he is already the best and bravest Daddy that Ramsey could hope for.

It's a BOY!!!

So at 40 weeks + 2 days I found myself still pregnant. The doctor said the baby looked fine but due to my increasing anxiety he would go ahead and induce me the next day. Well, I guess that was all our little guy needed to hear because later that night I went into labor on my own. Let me say first that contractions are as bad as anyone has ever said they were. I was laughing through them at first just thrilled to finally be in labor but an hour later I was moaning in pain. Determined not to be one of those screaming ladies a few doors down when asked if I wanted an epidural I said "yes please"! Needles in my eyeballs would have felt better at the time then those darn contractions. I felt fine about that decision since I had made it to 5cm on my own I would let drugs take me the rest of the way. So thank God for modern medicine because I did not feel another contraction after the epidural. Pushing was really fun and all in all my birth experience was wonderful except that Cope wasn't there to experience it with me. So at 9:19 am, after 12 hours of labor, Ramsey Copeland Rowell made his way into the world. It was totally mind blowing to see him finally. To see how perfect he was and to know that we created him. I kept telling Cope "I can't believe we made a person". I was able to share as much as I could with Cope over the phone that day and I can't even imagine what he was going through( he said he got a cold from stressing so much). Even though he was thousands of miles away we were finally a family and I was ready for the journey.

Catching you up to speed

So to start this story I'll begin where I truly did. I met my husband, Cope at North Georgia College in the spring of 2001. I knew very early on that I would marry him simply because I wanted to be the best version of myself when I was with him. In 2004 Cope commissioned as an officer into the United States Army. Shortly after we were married and the Army moved us a few places before our first duty station in Ft. Drum, NY. Cope had his first deployment to Afghanistan for 7 months in 2006. As soon as he came back we decided to start our family. We found out we were pregnant just one month later but 9 weeks into that pregnancy our Doctor found no heartbeat on our baby. We were devastatedto say the least but never broken. It was an experience I don't regret because it made us even closer and made us more appreciative in the end. We took the time we needed to heal and once the Doctor gave us the go ahead we decided to try again. Even though we knew Cope would be deployed again soon we decided to go for it and just 2 days later we conceived our son. Some people might of thought we were idiots to be taking on such a task with a 15 month deployment to Iraq looming but we knew in our hearts it was right and so it goes. It was a fairly uncomplicated pregnancy and at 27 weeks into it Cope did deploy to Iraq. Shortly after I moved home with my mom and step-dad to Cartersville, GA. They are so wonderful to have opened their home and hearts to me, my two bulldogs, and now our son. I don't know what they were thinking...but I am grateful for their help and friendship every single day.

My First Ever BLOG!

So I am totally thrilled to be writing my very first BLOG! I have really enjoyed reading many friends blogs and even some people's I don't even know. It is quite addicting I must admit. So after much consideration I have decided to write one of my own. At first I thought "who would want to read what I write" but then I realized everyone has a story and reading other's has helped me to see that so much more clearly. So I can't promise that everything I write will be super exciting but it is MY STORY and here it is...