Thursday, February 10, 2011

Need Some Advice!

So Ramsey just turned 3 and each stage is for sure my favorite. I love the newness of each stage but this one has brought with it NEGOTIATIONS. Meaning Ramsey wants to negotiate EVERYTHING. If I tell him he can have 2 Starburst he wants 3. If I tell him it is time to go to bed and not call me anymore he will find the one thing that can get me back up there(like mommy i need to poop,even if he doesn't). If I tell him it is time to leave for school he says "Just a few more minutes" of Mickey Clubhouse. I feel like he wants to negotiate 100 times a day, oh wait he does. Now I am not a weak person but part of me wants to explain why in the situation and the other part of me wants to say "because I said so". Any advice on what approach has worked for you guys? Is it just the stage? Don't get me wrong I love that my child's brain is constantly churning but should I battle with my 3 year old? Oh, and what is a post without pictures. Here ya go:


Scott and Katie said...

Wow for a second I thought you were talking about Rileigh. She does the EXACT same thing with everything, especially bedtime. The only things he does is pitch a fit if she doesn't get her way. I feeling like yes it is a stage b/c it sounds pretty common with 3 yr olds, but I try not to give in so she knows she can't always get what she wants. I've heard people say the terrible 2's are awful, but in my opinon the 3's are even worse b/c she can talk back and has an opinion. Good luck!

Mary said...

It's totally normal. I've found it's best to be firm and consistent. I also like to give Ian a good reason. "We have no leave now for school so you will get to see your friends and won't miss anything fun." These kids are smart and want to know what's up. At this stage they are just testing the waters. Stay strong!

jill said...

ohhhhhh friend. e-mail me any great tips you hear ... i'm such a softie i don't even negotiate most times. i just straight up give in. i'm AWFUL. ha! stay strong ... you've got to be doing something right to have such an intelligent, articulate, precious little guy!!!

Katie Jones said...

I took a class two years ago through the school called Love and Logic ( I haven't read the parent books, but I read "Teaching with Love and Logic" and got a lot of good ideas. Some of the stuff was crazy, but the suggestion about giving kids choices was really good. You give your kid two choices. Both choices are actually things you want to happen, but the kid feels like they're getting to make decisions, which makes them feel big and removes the need for them to achieve power through negotiation with you. Like... "Okay, we're about to go to school - you can choose to brush your teeth first or go potty first. Now, you can choose to put on your shoes first or put on your jacket first." You do this over and over and over! The kid spends all day thinking he's exercising complete control over his own life, when actually he's just doing what you wanted him to do in the first place! It really helped with Katie Anne.

Also, setting time limits - and timers - works well with her. She is also very competitive (shocker) and loves to try to beat a timer/count, so I'll say, "You have to the count of 20 to take your dirty clothes to the laundry room and get back to tag my hand. Go!!!" and she's hustling to do something she wouldn't have wanted to do without the race aspect. I will also challenge her to beat me to do something, like get our shoes or coats on in the morning. Works wonders!

**As far as a show before school, that's a non-negotiable with KA. I just make sure I wake her up in time to watch one complete episode of something before we leave. ;)