I miss my husband

So Ramsey just turned 4 months old a few days ago and in many ways it seems like time is flying by, except it feels like FOREVER since I have laid eyes on Cope. It is 7 and a 1/2 months to be exact. I miss him SO much that whenever someone realizes that he has never seen his son and they say "oh Tara" the scope of it finally hits me and I am no longer brave but reduced to a lonely wife who is doing her best to keep it together. I want him here so bad for many selfish reasons of my own, but mostly so he can simply know how wonderful Ramsey is. I want Cope to see him smile and be changed forever. I want Cope to see that Ramsey is everything that is good in life and that he is the best of both of us. This is a very strange year to say the least. It is more than I could have hoped for having Ramsey but so much harder than I imagined missing Cope. I know our time will come and we will look back on this and be made better for the long journey but today I just miss my husband and am wishing him safely HOME.